The Cycle
by AngelWing1138
Summary: He remembered the beginning...And he remembered the end.[Oneshot AkuRoku]


A/N: Just...A little thing I wrote up. Originally it was going to be really happy fluffy sweet but then my weird writing style came out and this was born. It can be a wee confusing maybe near the end, but I like it anyhow. Enjoy. _(smiles)_

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts (II) Characters belong to Square Enix.

* * *

He remembered the first time they touched.

It had been such a sweet feeling; so nerve-wracking and innocent. So shaky and tickling. He had giggled, and his partner had flushed, mumbling an apology, pulling back; but he wouldn't let him do that, pulling him back and kissing him softly. The other kissed back hesitatingly, nervously; caressed his cheek with a gentleness that the blonde didn't know he held.

He remembered the first time they went out in public holding hands.

Fingers linked and swinging between them; showing they were more than just friends. Showing that they were more than just two guys that think it's cool to hold hands. They were lovers. They were partners; promised to stay together until the end. Forever able to love each other.

He remembered…The first hospital trip out of many.

How he seemed to be almost swallowed by the blankets and the IV and the bandages…All of it so frightening on him because he wasn't used to seeing Axel like that; he was usually just his lanky self with his goofy attitude, sharp temper and loving smiles; so contradicting all the time. But now he was smiling weakly; his voice was soft and he looked thin and not lanky. He looked pained and not goofy. This was not his Axel…This was someone else that killed his Axel the day those guys at school beat the shit out of him.

He remembered his first beating.

It had hurt so much but he refused to cry out; refused to scream out in pain. He would not do that, he was stronger than that. Axel had always said he had been strong through this entire relationship; strong enough to openly admit it; strong enough to control himself when Axel got beaten up and into the hospital with broken bones or something torn or scarred or busted or popped. The blood poured from his head as he fell to the ground and the rain, cliché and fitting and ironic all in one came down and mixed with the sticky blood; confused his muggy mind; blinded his clouded vision.

He doesn't remember getting found and taken to the hospital. But he remembers waking up.

He was in pain and he was stiff and his mind was slow and sluggish. Everything was blurry, and he felt a warm, large, familiar hand grasping his own and turned blue eyes to see Axel's worried green eyes looking at him worriedly; scared; afraid he'd never wake up. He remembers smiling, and seeing Axel's face break into a weak, shaky smile before he fell overtop of him and cried and cried and cried; shaking and crying and muttering and whimpering and saying over and over again, 'I love you I love you I love you.'

He remembered when he told his brother.

Those identical blue eyes so wide, shocked to hear this coming from him. Sora wasn't used to this; his brother was the normal one wasn't he? Sora was the one who was gay; had always been gay. He had known he was gay since he had met Riku, and the two of them had been going out since grade school; from when children didn't care how boys acted together to when it was viewed as wrong and disgusting and immoral and inhumane and just terribly, terribly wrong. Sora then smiled and he hugged him so tightly, whispering how happy he was; whispering how he hoped they lived happily and loved each other for the rest of their lives.

He remembered the phone call.

He had been making dinner that night; their year anniversary. The phone had wrung so suddenly that he jumped and the knife he had been holding clattered to the counter. He had quickly picked up the phone, asking who it was. It was Axel's mother, and she wanted to meet him. She wanted to see him. He had thought it innocent enough; meet his mom, right? Axel had met his mom; his mom loved Axel. Was happy for him that he had found someone like his brother had.

He remembered the screaming.

How that hateful woman screeched and screamed and shrieked that he had ruined her son; he had been a normal boy before he met _him_. She said his name so hatefully; as if it were a curse word or a virus and not a name at all. He had taken it all, though, without flinching; without even blinking. Axel stood there to the side, waiting for the screaming to stop. When it seemed like it wouldn't he finally intervened and slapped his mother, telling her that he had never been normal and it had all been and act and to _SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE HE POUNDED HER FACE IN_. She had quieted and they had left, Axel whispering promises and apology after apology…

He remembered the letter.

His hands had been shaky; he didn't know why he had gone to the clinic in the first place but he did. They both did. It was of course going to be a fear among the two of them; Axel had been with other men before and Roxas with other girls. It wasn't like either were virgins when they started; they were nervous. They didn't know how to act. The letter was plain, white, with crisp black lettering and the red borderline that all clinics had on their letters. The words killed them before they realized what it was.

He remembered the fear.

It gripped at him like a cold, bloody hand; a voice whispering into his ear so many different things he didn't want to hear. Why was he hearing this? Why did he need to hear it? Why did he need to hear it over and over and over and over…

He remembers his smile.

Axel smiling so sweetly, telling him they'll be okay; they'll be together through it all. Together for eternity. Free to love forever. It was their promise, and they would keep to it.

He remembered getting sick, and then passing that on to him.

The two of them ended up in the hospital months and months and months and MONTHS after they had heard the news. They had beds beside each other; they shared the same room and the same doctors. They held hands; had the same things to eat; watched the same TV shows; had the same visitors. Sora came in once and he smiled and laughed and then he broke down and sobbed and Riku stood there so solemnly…So silently…

He remembers their last words.

"I love you so much."

He remembers closing his eyes…

And then waking up beside him.


End file.
